spiralling in and out of endo

When I was 18, I was accepted into the University of Victoria. I studied four full-time years there while struggling with endometriosis, depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic disorder. I took two years off, one to work in Québec, the other to explore Toronto. My year in Toronto ended up being a year of healing, self-discovery and time off. Tomorrow I will complete 7 weeks of daily French classes and write my two final exams. Assuming I pass them both, I will fly back to Toronto next week as an "unofficial" UVic undergrad with a Women's Studies degree. In two and a half weeks, I will begin my TESL education and training, and by the end of August I will be certified to teach ESL internationally. I am planning to spend a year teaching in Korea sometime soon. I will officially graduate from UVic this November.

My endo continues to be a part of my life, but I am learning how to control it. I have many more doctor appointments in my future to deal with the various problems that have occurred from this disease, but I feel strong enough to handle it now. In fact, since I was 19, this is the healthiest and strongest I have ever felt.

I am no longer interested in keeping a livejournal. I still do what I can with the community endometriosis livejournal and I don't plan on stopping that anytime soon. However, I have no interest in publishing my life like this anymore. Livejournal helped me when I needed it -- it gave me access to the support I needed. It allowed me to speak when I thought this was the only way I could be heard. So much has changed. I have my life back on track, I have a vision and the light at the end of the tunnel is so bright now. I'm going to graduate university, I'm going to become a certified TESL teacher, Michel and I are getting married, we are going to move to another country for a year, and then we'll see where life takes us.

Through the past year, there is one song has kept me going. Through all the breakdowns, the tears, the fits, the mood swings, the yelling for no reason, the crying, the begging for the sadness to disappear... Dido's "See the Sun" kept me going. I posted the lyrics under a cut below. It was this part that I connected with:

"And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
Well I promise you you'll see the sun again
And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness
And I promise you you'll see the sun again"

Thank you everyone for the love and support for the past few years through livejournal.

( See The Sun )